dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
