youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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