I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
