Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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