I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
