Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
