i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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