We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
try to milk me bitch
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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