READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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