Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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