Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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