Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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