talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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