the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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