Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
