he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
