I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
