oh god the rape fog is back!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
