omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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