Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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