My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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