I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
