I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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