Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
