im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
