Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
