Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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