Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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