Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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