She's JV to your varsity
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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