Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
