i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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