I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
