Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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