He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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