you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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