My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
