You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
