why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
