I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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