The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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