just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
