After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
