Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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