we made out on top of his cat.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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