idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The air was thick with penises
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
