I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
