Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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