Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
