Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Of course I have a pirate flag
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
