am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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