Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
