Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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