i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
