What a fucking waste of an outfit
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
