This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
These tits shall not be calmed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
