thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
tell me about the fingering
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
