I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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