I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you never un-have a 4some
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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