the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We need to rekindle our bromance
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
