Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
