Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
