Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
