I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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