Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
